The chagrin and disbelief was obvious in her tone and incredulous look. There was an unspoken expectation to discuss purchases well over the amount I had just spent. Her eyes held back unshed tears; confusion mixed with distrust. We had just moved, starting from scratch and I knew things were tight, but it wasn’t until that moment that the reality of our unhealthy financial habits became apparent.

Money had never been a frivolous commodity in my life. Growing up, my dad was always working two jobs or working full time hours while attending Graduate or Chiropractic school. Amy and I have often joked about our memories of eating at Taco Bell through our growing up years. Her family could get one food item and a fountain drink, but my family must have been better off because we could get two items and a fountain drink. My taste in clothes and electronics were always higher end, so in my youth I would save up and spend it as soon as the newest gadget was on the market. Single, on my own and earning a decent income I enjoyed this lifestyle while even building up a modest savings account, but when we got married, as the saying goes, it changed everything.

Within a few months of marriage, I ended up being a self-employed real estate agent and Amy was working for $11 an hour at the local crisis pregnancy center. Our incomes were a combined total of embarrassing little. We got creative though, learned to not spend much, but talking about finances usually turned into a heated discussion. Several years later, unemployed and with 2 babies this terse topic took a even more difficult turn. My mode of operation was to not talk about it and ignore our current survival mode. I was fine with Amy bearing the responsibility of our budget. She seemed to almost like it and things always worked out by the end of each month.

We were fine. We were normal. But I’ve come to learn, normal isn’t always best.

The unemployment checks got us through the first couple months of our journey to restart. Thankfully, we found a job that seemed promising in Kansas City and even though the starting pay didn’t feel equal to my experience and education in the arboriculture industry, I was hopeful there would be room to grow with the company. Spending the previous few years in the Real Estate world, we had developed some poor money habits. We would anticipate a future sale, so we’d go ahead and spend like we’d already closed the deal or we simply needed to spend the future for basic needs at that moment. Since we’d always managed to stay afloat, it seemed to work for us. Except we were $46,000 in student loan and car debt and because that exceeded our annual income, we couldn’t keep up our current, unfocused financial lifestyle.

We had become ‘slave to the lender’ and I began to feel the chains pulling me and our marriage under. Amy knew if she brought money up, the topic would become heated or because of my struggles with feeling like a good provider, I’d shut her down and avoid the subject. The day I purchased the boots could have propelled us into further struggle. Thankfully, she chose to be quiet and didn’t give me a hard time about the boots; most likely hoping and praying for something to change. To my credit, I did actually need them for work, yet I was convicted that it was time to change the trajectory of our future.

Not only did we finally sign up for Financial Peace University, but I also went to the Word of God to see what it said about money. I discovered that most of us will naturally struggle with one of two extremes with finances; Poverty or Pride. Being the provider for my family was not a responsibility I held lightly, but it was an area that I needed to find humility. Humbled by the Lord’s gracious generosity towards me, but also realizing that I was totally dependent for His ultimate provision. It is all from Him. I’m just the steward, He is the owner. Over the years I’ve felt the shift in my approach to work and even in my gratitude for what we’ve been generously given.

We started writing down everything we spent and documenting everything that we could count as income. Intentionally tithing on the whole that He was giving us, knowing ten percent was the least we could do. We wanted to give Him our firsts, showing we were placing our trust in Him. Even when we didn’t think we had enough. This is where we saw amazing things, the Lord exponentially multiplied our sincere efforts. Regardless of of daunting life challenges that still came our way, the pace we began to move to financial freedom is nothing short of a miracle. Improved communication was just one of the many benefits of walking on the path of managing His money, His way.

Almost 8 years later, I’m finally putting these infamous boots to rest; they have served me well. They were my wake up call. I’m grateful that they launched me into this journey; representing grueling days at work, many sacrifices of doing without and seemingly slow progress, but ultimately rewarding. No more car payments, school loan debt is gone and we budget and pay cash for everything else.

A few months ago we discussed and started setting aside the needed money to replace my well worn pair of work boots. Naturally, I’m appreciating my brand new ones, paid for in cash.