Pressing Pause
Waiting is oftentimes, the scariest, toughest part of our human struggle. We can be reminded of our battles won in the past and embrace the assurance of our eternal victory, but sometimes the worst place between hoped for victories, is in the waiting.
The waiting feels like it might just be the death of us.
Perhaps you can relate?
Usually, I’m a fast-paced, decisive kind of gal, but instead I’m in-between unknowns. I’m not exactly sure why He asked me to do what I’ve been doing for the last couple of years & I’m uncertain of the long-term direction He wants me to take.
So, I’m pressing pause.
I thought it would be a quick glance down at the map to determine which way was North, but instead, I’m now resting cross-legged on a bench along a path, waiting. I’m also watching. I’m watching others pass, who are confident of their intended destination. I release my envy over their pace, so I can wholeheartedly cheer them on and I ask them a few questions before they are out of earshot.
I doodle on my map and circle the places I’d like to end up at. I incline my ear to listen awhile as my innate desire yearns to do something (anything!!). So, I attempt to write out step-by-step directions only to find myself scratching them out, knowing it’s not how He is leading me, for now.
I pay attention. Learning that practicing deliberate silence, with a stilled, surrendered spirit, can give insight beyond my hours of ceaseless striving.
So while I pause and because today is the third of my most favorite of months (the beginning of all the ‘ber’s’) and because Proverbs 3 is my absolute favorite (if I had to pick), I’ve decided to stay here awhile. Giving this season of anticipation to soak in the teachings this one chapter of Proverbs has to offer.
I’ve decided to not pen a plan about what I might share, but rather accept the invitation to wait and see what He reveals.
I’m resting, watching, listening and paying attention.
Recently, a friend, who has had to remind me of truth (often) told me, “Remember that your goal isn’t to get out the waiting room. Your goal is to encounter Him.”
So, maybe this waiting is supposed to be the death of me. The place where my desire for Him supersedes my need for a specific outcome. May it be so.
A blessing for those who wait:
I bless you with no anxiety as you wait because God has spoken so richly in the past. I bless you with the quiet confidence of knowing you will hear Him again. I bless you with the awareness of His provision around you and in your past that you will trust him without question. I bless you in the name of our loving Father.