Lately I’ve been overwhelmed by my smallness, the fleeting vapor of life.

In a society of well intentioned folks encouraging and even inspiring us to dream big; we enthusiastically give our ‘yes’ again and again. I know it’s the right thing to do, but how often do I find myself begging the question, “What will it amount to?”

Many truths have come to mind as I have reread the parable of the talents these last few weeks. You might know the story: an owner gives out three different sums of talents to three different individuals, in proportion to their personal ability. The master leaves for a time and when he returns the owner asks for an account of what these managers have done with his property while he was gone. The message of this story has been engrained in me from a young age. “Don’t waste what the Lord has entrusted to you!!”

But I think about the poor guy with the one talent. He just got one. His peers got multiple talents, seemingly enough to spare. Certainly they did not have as much to fear if they lost one or two in their investment venture. Unfortunately, the one talent guy makes the foolish decision to bury the single talent he was given. His contemporaries make the stellar move to do something with theirs which doubles what they were originally given. I imagine how it must make the one talent guy feel and my heart has compassion for him.

I wonder. Was there an equivalent to the stock market in that day? How was one to know that investing their talent would amount to anything? Did the one talent guy even get clarity for what he was supposed to do with his gift? Wasn’t there an investment professional that could have given him a vision for the future return of his talent? I ponder these questions, not as they relate to our current financial situation, but in the vein of Jesus’ original intent; using money to illustrate our gifts and time we have here on earth. What have I buried in my life? Am I doing all I should to be ready for the coming of Christ in my life, will He say, “Well done.”?

You see, I’ve buried some of my talents. Mostly because of lack of clarity. The raw and honest question, “Is it even a legit talent? How do I know my efforts will amount to anything? Just because I use or invest this ‘gift’ doesn’t guarantee the fruit I might hope for or expect. Some talents I’ve buried because I seemingly have no great use for them; I let my reason be measured by the world instead of His Word. I find joy in being busy, putting my hands to many things, but I let fear and doubt rule my choices to invest my time to my talents pertaining to the need outside of what was tangibly productive. It is valid that I had other priorities that were just as valuable, but my decisions were motivated by the lie that investment seemed like a foolish waste. Time and worth has been my idol. 

Thankfully, my time on earth is not done yet, so I dig up rocky soil. I study it. There it is, what I buried long ago because it seemed a safer move than taking a risk for fear it might amount to nothing, simply wasted effort. Brushing it off, I have some regret. It’s rusty from nonuse. Not as stellar as it once was and no promise it can even return to its former glory. I think for a bit what it could be now if I had invested it long ago, instead of burying it in fear and embarrassment. Foolishly, not long ago, I believed the lie that it didn’t seem like much compared to what my comrades had been given. It’s easy to look around and see my peers who did a better job of investing though the years; I almost turned to bury it again.

Instead, I choose to feel His joy in my simple move of faith. The kind nod from the Lord to go ahead and put my shovel down and walk away from my mistakes of misuse. There is no guarantee, no promise that my talent will actually be used to any great measure, much less doubled for my efforts. But, I do have the Word of God that points me to heroes who were faithful in the small, even after failure, and they were used mightily. Men like Noah and Moses then Joseph who suffered through a lot; not to be in the line of Christ, but to help save the lineage of our Savior. Gentiles, like Rahab and Ruth, who chose to believe in the one true God; a foreign way of thinking in their land. Young Mary, the twelve Disciples, John the Baptist and so many stories we have been gifted to help us on our journey. Not for their happily ever after, but because they gave their ‘yes’ no matter what the outcome.

I am able to write these words because I know this truth in my head, but I choose to share these truths because I’m still working on getting it into my heart.

Will you join me and grab your shovel, unearthing what you’ve been fearful of losing. Instead, let’s invest it on Him, faithful in our belief that He will use it for His glory.