Baby’s first Christmas. Well, technically it was her second, but as she was only two days old for her first one, it doesn’t count. The 14 hour drive to see my in-laws was daunting, but intending our kids to be future road warriors, we were game for the challenge. My sister-in-law who was a nurse and a mom of four, recommend trying some over-the-counter medicine to aid with sleeping through the night-long drive. Figuring I should test the promised results, I gave my little one a dose the night before the trip. The next day she wasn’t her normal energetic self, including an unusual amount of spit-up which was more like vomit. But baby’s don’t get the stomach flu, do they?

Not ones to be easily thwarted, we still made the journey. My daughter blessedly slept the entire way, but not because of the medicine. Naively, we celebrated my husband’s birthday and my daughter’s first; indulging in merriment and rich food along the way. Christmas morning rolled around and so did my large pregnant belly. (I still can’t believe my first two were born fourteen months a part!) Now mine was rolling because of the stomach flu. I couldn’t even watch my little girl open her stocking on Christmas day. Sadly, this wasn’t my only holiday marred by sickness. Past holidays have been tainted by lice, moving, flooding, financial stress, job loss, a broken heart, strife, travel delays, or the absence of loved ones.

For some crazy reason, I still approach the holiday season assuming it should, literally, be the most wonderful time of year. I get caught up in thinking, this time we will finally have the perfect Christmas; I’ll have time to complete all those Pinterest projects, mimic my girlfriend’s amazing traditions, find the perfect gift for each family and friend, nothing will go wrong and there will be peace on earth!

Why do I continually set myself up for disappointment?

I keep anticipating that the magic of the season somehow grants me immunity from the fallen world in which we reside.

A dear friend, many years ago, shared of her pain she was experiencing as we approached the Christmas holiday. Her mom had been gone for several years and her dad was dating a woman neither she or her brother were excited to accept into the family. It tainted her merriment for the celebrations ahead and she wondered why they couldn’t have one normal, perfect Christmas. Hopefully, I was quiet for a time, allowing her pain to be acknowledged and validated. These realities were hurtful and disappointing, but I remember asking, “What does a perfect Christmas actually look like?”

Christmas is synonymous with treasured memories such as, cookie baking, favorite holiday music blaring as we set up our tree, lighting candles, church services, joyful anticipation, big sales, shopping and wrapping. These are some of the beautiful and purposeful ways to carry out the joy of the season, but we’ve allowed the hype of the Christmas marketing to put us in a pressure cooker of perfectionism. This is not only unattainable, but for me, it takes away from the someday, treasured memories I am in the middle of creating, even if it involves experiencing difficult times. When life happens and our plans get thwarted, how do we savor the present without being disappointed over what isn’t humanly possible?

I must resist the the pull to be fueled by our culture’s unattainable idealism. Instead, I must look to the imperfect arrival of Jesus, whom this celebration is all about. When I set my heart upon the business of Advent, I am centered once again.

I’m fairly certain Mary’s original birth plan never would’ve taken place in a manger, nor Joseph’s career plan to relocate to a foreign land so soon after taking on a wife and new child. No, this was certainly not human plan, but God, in his sovereignty, allowed these imperfect moments lead to the perfect moment of His Son being born for us.

I’m purposing to prepare my heart for the celebration of Jesus’ arrival. Accepting the imperfect to redirect me closer to the Savior. Reminding me heaven is not here on earth, but the Savior has arrived, giving our hearts hope for the perfect celebration of eternity.

1John 5:20 “And we know that the Son of God has come, and he has given us understanding that we can know the true God. An now we live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God and he is eternal life.”